Choose You
Memories drifted back last Friday, to the days when I was writing to my not yet even met, and one day would be husband, Danny. He was 21 years old and an infantry soldier in the midst of the Tet Offensive in Viet Nam. Veterans Day is always a time of remembering for us. My husband served, my dad served, my uncle and my mother’s father all served our country, and I am grateful.
Looking back always brings me to a place of looking forward and my thoughts have begun floating faster towards 2023 this week.
With the bulk of the election chaos over and the media madness slowing down, it feels calmer, quieter, less stressful. I think I want to be happy, build happy habits, create happy moments, and write happy stories.
HAPPY… HAPPY… HAPPY… HAPPY… HAPPY… HAPPY… HAPPY… HAPPY…
Would that it could be just that easy, and maybe, who knows, it is, it could be, maybe?
I know it doesn’t happen overnight. It is a process. What I do know for sure, is that it is a choice! Our lives belong to us and so does the responsibility for our decisions.
- Are you making your life decisions by default or intentionally choosing the path your life will take?
- Are your decisions based on what other people do, think, or say?
- Is pressure from family, friends, peers, humanity at large, pushing your decisions in a certain direction?
- Are you making choices to do things your way, or the way things have always been done because that’s the way you may have always done them? Or maybe you’ve been told that’s the way they have always been done?
Here’s a thought… as often as you can, practice making conscious decisions for yourself. You decide daily/even hourly, what to do, how to be, and for sure, who to be in your life. Rather than just drifting along on the currents of “popular”, “always been that way”, or “that’s how I was taught”, YOU decide how you want your world to look and paint that story for yourself. You just might discover that your happy is contagious and “your way” may just be the next “big wave”.
When you choose to put you first and live from that place where you are your #1 priority, it can cause confusion, not just in those around you but for you as well. If it isn’t a “remembered” muscle reflex in your life, it is one you have to practice consistently to build that strength.
Friends and family may feel left out or abandoned. You may feel unsupported and misunderstood. It can be exhausting but DON’T GIVE UP ON YOU and don’t give up on your family and friends. Be gentle on yourself, open and tolerant with others. Keep talking. Have those difficult conversations and be calmly persistent, clear and consistent when you share what is driving your joy, your decisions, your choices. Communication is key; honest, truthful, without judgement, clear.
My daughter is one of my best teachers when it comes to communication. I learned to “tell people what they wanted or needed to hear” even when it wasn’t my truth. My mother taught me that it was my job to “maintain” the flow in the family (she didn’t know she was talking about the energy of each person and how it bounced about in a family). I took that on as my responsibility without ever asking the people in my world, if that is what they needed. That is what I had learned and sometimes it takes us a lifetime to outgrow what we learn early on.
I remember one time when I was so hurt by a friend, that the tears just wouldn’t stop. I could not make any sense out of her explosion or the fact that it was all aimed at me. All I could feel was the separation and loss. My daughter so bravely reminded me of an old quote, “Friends come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” That goes right along with, “To all things there is a season…”
I’m going to share with you all right now, no matter what season of life you are in, now is YOUR time.
Remember to respect others and yourself, you are worth it. You matter just as much as anyone or anything else in your life. Now is the time to give yourself permission to stand by your choices, your decisions, and follow your own path guided by the voice of your own truth regardless of what’s popular or “in style”, what’s on TV or in the news.
Follow your heart, listen to your body-mind, and discern the direction that is right for you as you look to the path ahead in 2023.
Remember, today is the tomorrow you dreamed about yesterday… make it come true, for YOU.
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Vicki Dobbs is a bold and adventurous warrior walking a path of heart to manifest spirituality in everyday lives. She opens existential gateways for individuals to face their challenges and embrace these tests as the great teachers that they are.
Her goal is to see everyone walk in beauty and balance every day of their lives empowered by the voice of their own authentic truth.
Through Wisdom Evolution and Sacred Wisdom Workshops, Vicki creates opportunities for others to make deep personal changes through experiential classes, ceremony, sacred art and story. She endeavors to inspire others to create their lives intentionally. Vicki is an Inspirator of everyday awareness, an Instigator of spontaneous stories and a Connoisseur of Creativity. Gratitude and grace sprinkled with humility and humor are the medicine she brings to the world.
As an Elder, Teacher and Entrepreneur, Spiritual Coach, Ordained Minister and Crafter of Sacred Art and Tools, Vicki perceives life’s journey as an ever-upward spiraling ascension of the human spirit leading her to wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.
Her experience includes being trained in the Harner Method of Shamanic Counseling and the Pachakuti Mesa Tradition of Cross Cultural Shamanism. She is a Graduate Teacher and Mentor with the Lynn Andrews Center For Sacred Arts and Training and has been the Administrator and Writers Guide for Writing Spirit, the School.
Vicki is also an Artist of the Spirit Certified Spiritual and Energetic Life Coach, a Graduate Mentor in the AoS program and a founding member of HeatherAsh Amara’s Warrior Goddess Leadership Team and Facilitator of the Warrior Heart Practice.
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