An Experience That Devastates A Mother’s Soul
My best friend from high school called me the other day. I never in a million years dreamed we would share an experience that devastates a mother’s soul. My dear friend lost her son, it’s been 16 years since I lost mine. It’s interesting to see how the energy around such unfathomable grief circles and changes, morphs as it grows and diminishes.
I wrote to you a couple of weeks ago about our move to a new house and the difficulties I was having finding “home“.
This past Saturday, while out repairing drip lines at our place, my daughter found a hawk feather laying on the ground. I have not seen a hawk even flying around this new place since we have lived here and they gave me such comfort at the old house.
My son used to leave feathers in my car, hidden in the house, surprising me whenever he could. After he “left“, I would feel a pull to go for a walk or take a drive and eventually, somewhere along the path or on the road, I would find feathers and know that he had guided me there. For many years feathers were an important part of my movement through grief. A time came when there were no more feathers and that dance with grief changed yet again.
My daughter knows of my connection to feather’s, and has often called and said, “Mom, go here or go there…” And the feathers were waiting. So her finding a feather, a hawk feather ON our property connects us yet again with all the possibilities and memories that these metaphoric feathers hold for me, for us, perhaps reminding me it’s time to come “home”.
For those of you in the throes of grief, held in the arms of grief, or feeling the distant memories of grief, know that these energies we feel are like ocean waves. They flow in and out of our lives as small ripples, like the evening swells a young surfer navigates, or they can hit us like a tsunami. But each one always recedes leaving in it’s wake a tear, memory, a flicker of light, an explosion of joy, filling those in-between spaces of the waves with time as we live on.
I wish for my dear friend, messages from her Matt as important, as loving, and as powerful, as the messages Ryan continues to send to those he loved and loves.
May you all find the beauty and bounty in natures gifts connected to your memories and your souls journey in this lifetime.
In gratitude for the feathers,
Vicki
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Vicki Dobbs is a bold and adventurous warrior walking a path of heart to manifest spirituality in everyday lives. She opens existential gateways for individuals to face their challenges and embrace these tests as the great teachers that they are.
Her goal is to see everyone walk in beauty and balance every day of their lives empowered by the voice of their own authentic truth.
Through Wisdom Evolution and Sacred Wisdom Workshops, Vicki creates opportunities for others to make deep personal changes through experiential classes, ceremony, sacred art and story. She endeavors to inspire others to create their lives intentionally. Vicki is an Inspirator of everyday awareness, an Instigator of spontaneous stories and a Connoisseur of Creativity. Gratitude and grace sprinkled with humility and humor are the medicine she brings to the world.
As an Elder, Teacher and Entrepreneur, Spiritual Coach, Ordained Minister and Crafter of Sacred Art and Tools, Vicki perceives life’s journey as an ever-upward spiraling ascension of the human spirit leading her to wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.
Her experience includes being trained in the Harner Method of Shamanic Counseling and the Pachakuti Mesa Tradition of Cross Cultural Shamanism. She is a Graduate Teacher and Mentor with the Lynn Andrews Center For Sacred Arts and Training and has been the Administrator and Writers Guide for Writing Spirit, the School.
Vicki is also an Artist of the Spirit Certified Spiritual and Energetic Life Coach, a Graduate Mentor in the AoS program and a founding member of HeatherAsh Amara’s Warrior Goddess Leadership Team and Facilitator of the Warrior Heart Practice.
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