Evelyn Lee, Evie to those who loved her, had long danced with the Divine. Her days were steeped in ceremony, her nights wrapped in prayer. She never dreamed her own heart would one day forget its rhythm.
It happened on an ordinary morning, the kind when the sun forgets its blaze and settles for a golden hush. Evie had just finished her morning routine, pushing a little more than usual on her morning ride on her stationary bike. She wanted muscles back that were disappearing for lack of use. Happy with that ten minute lap, she stepped off, did a little cool down exercise and it began. A flutter first. Then no breath, her head felt light, floaty… Her breath caught, not from fear, but from the sudden knowing, something was wrong.
Her sacred heart, that faithful drum, was racing, dancing to the beat of a different drummer. It was not the steady rhythm of a woman walking between worlds, but a wild gallop. She placed her hand over her chest and whispered, “Beloved, what are you trying to tell me?”
She tried to stand, her knees like jello, wobbling like a new born foals first attempts to stand. The room blurred. Somewhere inside, a stillness rose. Evie had faced shadows before; grief, loss, transformation. This was different, but not unfamiliar. It was a call inward.
Evelyn was a writer, a note taker. She reached for pad and pen and began to document this journey she was embarking on. She called her doctor and made an appointment to go see him the next day, describing this new beat she was hearing, more feeling. Nothing told her it was an emergency and she went about the day, carefully listening, feeling her way along this new trail.
When she arrived at the doctor’s office the next afternoon, grateful for a ride from family, she walked the length of the parking lot from its far back corner and rested for a moment on a nearby bench. The office was on the second floor and the elevator door opened as she approached.
After a short wait, she was called back and her favorite nurse welcomed her with a BP cuff and pulse oximeter. The BP machine wouldn’t register at the neurologist yesterday and Natalie’s wouldn’t that afternoon either. Baffled, both arms tried with no luck, a wrist cuff was wrestled out of a drawer and a blood pressure reading recorded.
By now, Evie was not feeling well, her arms clammy and her throat tight. Fear was trying to creep into the room while Evelyn choked back tears.
Dr. M came in and explained that her heart rate was way too high and not coming down, this was not a white coat syndrome moment. It was a get in the wheel chair and head straight across the parking lot to the emergency room at the hospital adjacent to his office.
ER can be a nightmare of hurry up and then wait and wait and wait. Dr. M had assured her that he had called ahead and when the intake nurse saw her heart rate and looked into the weary, teared stained face of this old woman, doors opened, beds became available and doctors gathered in force to rein in the out of control drumbeat.
Machines beeped. Wires tangled and multiplied across her chest like spiderwebs of science and salvation. Doctors moved with practiced grace and efficiency explaining what they were doing to bring her heart back into normal rhythm. It sounded like she was going to die and would return, or they would bring her back.
Handsome nurses steadied her with hands that remembered how to hold life gently. She surrendered, but not entirely.
Lying in the emergency room, surrounded by sterile lights and strangers dressed in blue, green and maroon colors, Evie turned inward. “Sacred Heart,” she whispered in the silence between heartbeats, “I am listening. You do not have to scream and pound this way to get my attention.”
She didn’t need the paddles. Drugs that should have brought a halt to the race to allow her heart to reset its own rhythm, did not work and the crowd gathered to watch the zap and come back moment that rarely happened here.
All hands on deck gathered in closer as sticky pads were put in place. The blessed technology waited, but her body, her spirit, and the Divine Creator she conversed with, had another plan. With the help of medicine and prayer, breath and faith, her heart softened. Slowed. Returned. Like a wild drum calling itself home.
She looked into the stunned faces of all the young docs, ER staff, EMT, and those handsome nurses and smiled. They say we old folks are supposed to teach you young-uns. This was my teachable moment, and everyone smiled back as they left to go on about the business of saving folks like her.
Later, the doctors would call it supra ventricular tachycardia. An irregular heartbeat. A rogue rhythm. But Evie called it a message.
She emerged from the hospital a few days later with a deeper sense of humility and a renewed reverence for her body’s wisdom. She walked slower, listened deeper, and every night she pressed her hand to her chest and said, “Thank you. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for speaking. Thank you for resetting with me.”
To those who asked what happened, she’d smile with the calm of a stone mountain after a storm. “My heart just took off to the beat of a different drummer for a little while. We’re back in rhythm now.”
Evie taught those around her that healing isn’t always loud. Sometimes it is a whisper to the cells, a conversation with God, and a willingness to trust both medicine and miracles.
And always, it is an invitation to come home to yourself.
Blessed be our sacred drums and the drummers who walk with them.
Please enjoy my Free “Meditation for Centering” MP3
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Vicki Dobbs is a bold and adventurous warrior walking a path of heart to manifest spirituality in everyday lives. She opens existential gateways for individuals to face their challenges and embrace these tests as the great teachers that they are.
Her goal is to see everyone walk in beauty and balance every day of their lives empowered by the voice of their own authentic truth.
Through Wisdom Evolution and Sacred Wisdom Workshops, Vicki creates opportunities for others to make deep personal changes through experiential classes, ceremony, sacred art and story. She endeavors to inspire others to create their lives intentionally. Vicki is an Inspirator of everyday awareness, an Instigator of spontaneous stories and a Connoisseur of Creativity. Gratitude and grace sprinkled with humility and humor are the medicine she brings to the world.
As an Elder, Teacher and Entrepreneur, Spiritual Coach, Ordained Minister and Crafter of Sacred Art and Tools, Vicki perceives life’s journey as an ever-upward spiraling ascension of the human spirit leading her to wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.
Her experience includes being trained in the Harner Method of Shamanic Counseling and the Pachakuti Mesa Tradition of Cross Cultural Shamanism. She is a Graduate Teacher and Mentor with the Lynn Andrews Center For Sacred Arts and Training and has been the Administrator and Writers Guide for Writing Spirit, the School.
Vicki is also an Artist of the Spirit Certified Spiritual and Energetic Life Coach, a Graduate Mentor in the AoS program and a founding member of HeatherAsh Amara’s Warrior Goddess Leadership Team and Facilitator of the Warrior Heart Practice.
Connect with Vicki here on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vickildobbsauthor