I couldn’t believe how grateful I felt last week when I didn’t hit the ground. Most of you know I have bad knees (comes with age and loving to climb trees – well, age anyway). I stumbled on a step-up from the dirt to a cement driveway and the funny was on. I might have had a shot at America’s funniest home videos $100K prize if there had been a camera nearby.
Long story short, I didn’t hit the ground. A couple of awkward, long, hard steps later as my legs caught up with my toppling body, I stood still and realized I had not hit the ground. In that moment, I felt such gratitude for balance, for the automatic movement of my out-of-balance body to catch up with itself, and for the awareness of this small miracle.
I have this little gratitude journal I created years ago and this clumsy but successful hitch in my get-along made the front page. Today I didn’t fall down!
Wouldn’t it be awesome if in our everyday lives, we could have the grace to simply catch our breath and realize we didn’t really fall down, it just felt like we were headed that way? This past week, one of my least favorite friends came back to visit, actually moved in for a couple of days and as usual, wreaked havoc in my week.
Insomnia is a B***H and I would just as soon find someone else to hang out with. This morning as I write this, I am so very grateful that it finally left. It is really a mind-altering companion and I know it can be a charmer (movies to watch, things to write, games to play, art to create). It reminds me how lucky I am that I can keep going when my body wants to quit, that my mind still fires on all cylinders and I get the time and space to finish what’s needed (or wanted) to get done. Sneaky friends like that aren’t the best companions.
I know what you are going to say, I could just turn off the light and close my eyes. Doesn’t always work though, I try, and most of the time I don’t have a pressing matter that keeps my brain firing on all cylinders in overtime. So what’s up with that?
I used to write five things I was grateful for every night before bed. A wonderful habit that somehow managed to evaporate from my consciousness and only show up when I suggest it to others. In part, I think, because I quit journaling regularly when we moved. I’m not sure why or when, and it doesn’t even matter. What matters is that I found a way to combat this visit from insomnia.
I got up and grabbed one of the myriad of journals floating around and began writing down what I thought was keeping me awake and ended up finding the hidden message in each “why” reason I wrote. Nothing concrete or profound popped up for me to share with you all here, what happened was gratitude.
I found myself writing, “Whew, I am so glad this or that didn’t happen” (like falling down), as all the what if’s or could haves or should haves tried to dominate the page, each one clamoring into the forefront of my consciousness before I could finish writing about the one before it.
What I found myself writing was gratitude. I was so glad I didn’t fall and a bit amazed as well. I was grateful for the work I got done when sleep wouldn’t come. I was so thankful for the busy that kept me from eating out of boredom. And I am joyfully grateful for the descending number on the scales this week as I struggle to bring balance back to this aging body. My mantra – It doesn’t matter what I look like, I just want and need to be body strong.
I remembered my unconscious journey across the fiery coals on a hilltop in Sedona. It was many years ago when my mind said, “you can’t, no way, you’re not fast enough or pick up your feet quick enough!” I just stood nearby to feel the energy of the fire and the power of moving past this limiting belief in a very real and powerful way. Next thing I knew I was on the other side of the hot cinders with an indescribable and buoyant feeling of joy. “Are you ready,” a friend asked and shocked, both she and I answered, “I did it.” The message that day from the fire was body strong.
Today I am grateful for the memory, for the message remembered, and for journaling my gratitude to ward off insomnia.
It is a powerful tool, not just the journaling, but the awareness of gratitude that allows me to savor and above all, appreciate my life with renewed grace.
I am grateful for you all out there reading this and I am grateful for this computer that is such a wonderful tool in my world. I am grateful for a husband that does the grocery shopping, for the last-minute reminder call from my daughter to make the grandson’s wrestling tournament. (He finished fourth in the district – yeah Jace!) I am grateful for my sisters check-in calls (I owe her a movie), and I am grateful for sleep when it comes softly after I have written my day in gratitude.
May you all find the big and the small things in your days to grow your gratitude.
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Vicki Dobbs is a bold and adventurous warrior walking a path of heart to manifest spirituality in everyday lives. She opens existential gateways for individuals to face their challenges and embrace these tests as the great teachers that they are.
Her goal is to see everyone walk in beauty and balance every day of their lives empowered by the voice of their own authentic truth.
Through Wisdom Evolution and Sacred Wisdom Workshops, Vicki creates opportunities for others to make deep personal changes through experiential classes, ceremony, sacred art and story. She endeavors to inspire others to create their lives intentionally. Vicki is an Inspirator of everyday awareness, an Instigator of spontaneous stories and a Connoisseur of Creativity. Gratitude and grace sprinkled with humility and humor are the medicine she brings to the world.
As an Elder, Teacher and Entrepreneur, Spiritual Coach, Ordained Minister and Crafter of Sacred Art and Tools, Vicki perceives life’s journey as an ever-upward spiraling ascension of the human spirit leading her to wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.
Her experience includes being trained in the Harner Method of Shamanic Counseling and the Pachakuti Mesa Tradition of Cross Cultural Shamanism. She is a Graduate Teacher and Mentor with the Lynn Andrews Center For Sacred Arts and Training and has been the Administrator and Writers Guide for Writing Spirit, the School.
Vicki is also an Artist of the Spirit Certified Spiritual and Energetic Life Coach, a Graduate Mentor in the AoS program and a founding member of HeatherAsh Amara’s Warrior Goddess Leadership Team and Facilitator of the Warrior Heart Practice.
Connect with Vicki here on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vickildobbsauthor
