A bit scared of the current and the rushing flow of the river I was about to step into, I added an additional flotation device around my waist, just under the life jacket already strapped around my chest and shoulders.
I had never rafted down a river before, but I loved the water, and my desire to be out on it was, in that moment, outweighing my fear of the fast-moving current – barely.
I stood at the river’s edge watching the water rush past me, wondering what on earth had possessed me to think this was a good idea. The river didn’t seem particularly interested in my hesitation. It kept moving, tumbling over rocks, curling around bends, carrying sticks and leaves and whatever else had surrendered itself to the flow.
I, on the other hand, had apparently decided that one life jacket was not enough.
Perhaps two would be better. I don’t know where I would put a third, maybe floaties around my biceps. 😊 “This was getting silly,” I thought to myself. “Get in or give up.”
There is something about the unknown that makes me want to prepare for every possible disaster before I take the first step. I like to know where I am going, how long it will take to get there, what obstacles I might encounter, and whether there is a restroom somewhere along the way. You should see how I pack my car for a road trip to somewhere I have never been before.
Adventure is wonderful, as long as it comes with detailed instructions and perhaps a map but the river offered neither security, comfort, or a map.
Eventually my love of the water stepped in front of my fear and into the water I went, climbing over the sides and into the raft.
The cold water wrapped around my legs, and for one brief moment I considered stepping right back out. The current tugged at me almost immediately, reminding me that once I entered, I wouldn’t be the one deciding every twist and turn of this new adventure.
That may have been the most frightening part, I didn’t know where it would carry me, if I would be able to steer at all, and where it would eventually set me ashore.
There I was in the raft, white knuckles gripping the oars tighter than necessary as I pushed away from shore. The river gathered me up and carried me forward. There were stretches of calm water where I could loosen my grip, breathe and look around. I watched the sunlight dance across the surface in a myriad of colors and the world seemed impossibly beautiful.
Then came the rapids… holding on, trusting in the flow and my ability to move with it where I needed to. The raft lifted, dropped, spun, splashed, and for a few breathless moments, all I could do was hold on. My mind tried to race ahead, imagining what might be waiting around the next bend, while the river kept calling me back to what was right in front of me.
Water, breathe, stay in the moment with the movement, trust.
Somewhere along the way, I realized I was laughing. My good enemy, Fear had not disappeared. It had simply stopped being in charge.
I wonder how often life asks the same of us. We stand at the edge of something new, trying to protect ourselves from every imaginable outcome. We add layers of caution, cling to what feels safe, and tell ourselves we’ll step in when we’re completely ready.
It may be that completely ready is not the point. Perhaps these are moments when we’re simply asked to trust what life has already taught us, to remember the strength we’ve gathered through every current we’ve crossed and flowed through before.
As my raft rounded another bend and the river opened wide before me, I loosened my grip on the oars, relaxed my tightly knotted shoulders, and let out the breath I had been holding since bouncing off the last rock.
A voice came from nowhere, yet somewhere deep within, maybe the river itself spoke.
“Remember, you already know how to swim.”
I saw my friend on a sandy spit just ahead and rowed toward him. He was my ride back up the river to where I had begun this journey. He was my rock, my ride, my way back to me.
As he reached for the raft, pulling it ashore, I could feel myself falling backwards, grabbing at air in anticipation of hitting the water just as I woke up. I was comfortably paddling through the covers of my bed, lost in the dream of being on the water again, and I hadn’t gotten a single grain of sand between my toes. 😊
When is the last time you took a chance, stepped into the flow of your dreams, unknowns be darned, gathered up your fear and jumped in, wholeheartedly?
May July bring you sunshine, easy currents to navigate, and calm water to appreciate the ride. Remember, you already know how to “swim.”
Row On…
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Vicki Dobbs is a bold and adventurous warrior walking a path of heart to manifest spirituality in everyday lives. She opens existential gateways for individuals to face their challenges and embrace these tests as the great teachers that they are.
Her goal is to see everyone walk in beauty and balance every day of their lives empowered by the voice of their own authentic truth.
Through Wisdom Evolution and Sacred Wisdom Workshops, Vicki creates opportunities for others to make deep personal changes through experiential classes, ceremony, sacred art and story. She endeavors to inspire others to create their lives intentionally. Vicki is an Inspirator of everyday awareness, an Instigator of spontaneous stories and a Connoisseur of Creativity. Gratitude and grace sprinkled with humility and humor are the medicine she brings to the world.
As an Elder, Teacher and Entrepreneur, Spiritual Coach, Ordained Minister and Crafter of Sacred Art and Tools, Vicki perceives life’s journey as an ever-upward spiraling ascension of the human spirit leading her to wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.
Her experience includes being trained in the Harner Method of Shamanic Counseling and the Pachakuti Mesa Tradition of Cross Cultural Shamanism. She is a Graduate Teacher and Mentor with the Lynn Andrews Center For Sacred Arts and Training and has been the Administrator and Writers Guide for Writing Spirit, the School.
Vicki is also an Artist of the Spirit Certified Spiritual and Energetic Life Coach, a Graduate Mentor in the AoS program and a founding member of HeatherAsh Amara’s Warrior Goddess Leadership Team and Facilitator of the Warrior Heart Practice.
Connect with Vicki here on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vickildobbsauthor