These past several weeks, working on the new Good Enemies book as well as some short reads and another devotional, my own good enemies have begun to rebel. It’s tough to hold myself steady while dancing with my shadow dwellers.
“The Gang,” as they want to be called, walks in at the most inopportune times, like uninvited guests to a dinner party, only I feel like I’m their dinner sometimes.
The thing is, I don’t always see them at first but then I begin to “feel” them. I get sluggish then I know Resistance is close by, or I switch from project to project (TV show to TV show) and I know Procrastination is hanging out.
Fatigue sets in and I can feel, not just one or two of these good enemies showing up, it’s all of them fused into something far more powerful than the sum of any one of them.
I get down on me, down on my projects, down on life and I know this is no longer just a scattered inner struggle, this is the Gang in all their glory.
They arrive in bits and parts my nervous system recognizes and remembers. Fear grabs my arm, Doubt tightens its grip on my voice, Anxiety shakes my legs and Worry weighs me down. The Gang has grown since the last time I sat with them all in the same room. It is stifling.
At the head of this rebellious and sometimes riotous bunch is Confusion, blinking, buzzing, spinning in all directions. It clouds my focus, clutters up my thoughts, and cuts the wires to my own inner wisdom, sending me headlong into the outside world looking for answers.
I’m left wondering: What’s real? What’s right? The big question, “What now?”
When Confusion leads this pack, I hesitate to act, not because I’m not capable, but because the fog has made me forget what I once saw so clearly.
Is Confusion trying to protect me from regret, to keep me from making a mistake?
Yikes is all I can say. In this chaos with Confusion and his gang of good enemies, I’m stuck. There is no forward momentum, no progress, no action. There is just stalemate until Anxiety takes the lead and whispers, “Hurry up, slow down, why haven’t you figured this out already?”
I feel like, “Which way do I go? Which way do I go?”
Good news is, when I come to realize that so many of my good enemies are showing up at once, I know I need a break. I turn and face them with kindness, thank them for their messages, and send them on their merry way.
I am not made of all these parts, they are just a small part of me, my uniqueness. When I offer them love, they soften. When I speak directly to their purpose in ganging up on me, I get feedback that breaks the stalemate and sets me back on my path.
I’m writing again, taking a small break from the new Good Enemies book to finish three little 15-minute E-reads as part of a new Wisdom Whispers Series of short reads. They are about the magic of writing, and the muses and guides we meet along the way, all while stirring up our own magic in the Cauldron of Creativity. It’s fun and a worthy break from the heavier but most important work with my good enemies.
Celebrating with a banana split for dinner to staunch the triple digit weather we have been sweltering in this past week. Yum, aren’t bananas, strawberries, and pineapples fruit? I think I heard somewhere that chocolate was a vegetable. 😊 Looking at the daily dose of good food chart, I’ve got dairy covered as well as protein (I added lots of roasted almonds).
A perfect close to a tough week.
Catch y’all on the flipside where good enemies become great allies and ice cream is served up for dinner at least once a week.
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Vicki Dobbs is a bold and adventurous warrior walking a path of heart to manifest spirituality in everyday lives. She opens existential gateways for individuals to face their challenges and embrace these tests as the great teachers that they are.
Her goal is to see everyone walk in beauty and balance every day of their lives empowered by the voice of their own authentic truth.
Through Wisdom Evolution and Sacred Wisdom Workshops, Vicki creates opportunities for others to make deep personal changes through experiential classes, ceremony, sacred art and story. She endeavors to inspire others to create their lives intentionally. Vicki is an Inspirator of everyday awareness, an Instigator of spontaneous stories and a Connoisseur of Creativity. Gratitude and grace sprinkled with humility and humor are the medicine she brings to the world.
As an Elder, Teacher and Entrepreneur, Spiritual Coach, Ordained Minister and Crafter of Sacred Art and Tools, Vicki perceives life’s journey as an ever-upward spiraling ascension of the human spirit leading her to wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.
Her experience includes being trained in the Harner Method of Shamanic Counseling and the Pachakuti Mesa Tradition of Cross Cultural Shamanism. She is a Graduate Teacher and Mentor with the Lynn Andrews Center For Sacred Arts and Training and has been the Administrator and Writers Guide for Writing Spirit, the School.
Vicki is also an Artist of the Spirit Certified Spiritual and Energetic Life Coach, a Graduate Mentor in the AoS program and a founding member of HeatherAsh Amara’s Warrior Goddess Leadership Team and Facilitator of the Warrior Heart Practice.
Connect with Vicki here on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vickildobbsauthor