The rocking chair on my front porch had become a place not just for solitude, but my place for dreaming and telling stories. This evening, I was searching for calm and the peace of hope as anxiety swirled in my belly and made it hard for me to breathe.
The sun began its descent in the west and I heard a story on the whispers of the wind. I caught it as a leaf drifted by and I looked out across the open space in front of me to find myself in a quaint little town I had not been to before. Wooden buildings with wooden walkways and wooden porches stretched out in a line, horses and buggies tied to hitching rails on both sides of the street.
There was a woman in a chair rocking on the wooden planks, chatting with someone or something I could not make out, shadowlike in its appearance. Her voice carried across the space between us, an anxious tone accompanied her apprehensive laughter and invitation to come over.
A shadow moved beside her; I caught the outline of it as I approached her. The woman rose and introduced herself as Lily and beckoned me to follow her inside, the shadow moving with her.
The room we entered, Lily, the Shadow, and me, was dimly lit by a single candle burning under its glass enclosure. Lily motioned for me to sit at the table with the lamp, and the shadow followed closely behind me now. I could feel the tension rising in my belly and my chest tightened, threatening to cut off my very breath.
“Oh,” Lily exclaimed, “I see you have met my friend Anxiety, Antsy for short. She follows me a lot and now it seems, she is attaching herself to you.”
Looking back at Lily, I noticed a light around her, she radiated tranquility like a beacon, and I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. “How can you be so calm with this Antsy shadow stalking you and why is it hanging onto me now?” I asked, beginning to feel lightheaded.
“Breathe,” Lily ordered. “One breath in slowly, hold it a moment and let it out slowly. Feel your feet on the ground, the chair beneath you and the table beside you. Let yourself sink into these things and be grounded. You are about to take flight out of yourself and run. That is no way to live.”
As she spoke, her voice like butter, my body began to relax and I began to breathe as she had instructed, slowly in and slowly out. I wiggled my toes in their sandals and felt the ground beneath me, supporting and holding me steady as my breathing became easier and my heart slowed.
“I have been waiting for you,” Lily announced with a warm smile, the lines in her face highlighted by the flickering light of the candle. “Anxiety recognized you in an instant and that is why she has attached herself to you here. She knows you all too well in your world.”
I remembered in her words, the same feelings I was having now as familiar, as my own. I remembered the whispered words of doubt, the tightness in my chest and that uncertainty of an unwelcome guest that crashes a party in the midst of many joy-filled moments and sleepless nights. I remembered my racing thoughts and the fear that gripped my heart in those moments when Doubt took over and pushed Hope aside.
“Antsy doesn’t have to be a constant thorn in your side unless you let her,” Lily continued. “What if I told you that Anxiety is not your enemy, but merely a misunderstood friend?”
Lily’s words resonated deep within me, in the very center of me, perhaps, in my soul.
“Think about this my child,” she suggested. “Consider that Anxiety is like a guardian, trying to protect you from perceived threats. It’s an ancient mechanism rooted in the DNA of our very survival. But often, Antsy misinterprets situations and circumstances and becomes overzealous in its duty as protector.”
Instructing me to relax in the chair and close my eyes, Lily guides me through a meditation where I met and danced with Anxiety as though it were a flame flickering like the one on the table.
(Click here to hear the entire meditation if you like.)
As the meditation ended, Lily reminded me to open my eyes and I could sense a newfound peace and acceptance within. I looked at the candle flickering beside me and recognized it as the light that accompanied the shadow of my anxiety and began to welcome it as a companion on my journey.
I was learning to befriend Anxiety. I was reminded to look for the wisdom flickering in the flame, and to listen to the whispers of Antsy as a friend, not as my enemy but rather as a guardian carrying messages on the whispers of my beating heart.
Lily walked over to the table and cupping her hands around the top of the lantern, she blew out the candle. I rose in the darkened room and headed for the door, stepping out onto my front porch, in my yard, at my home and sat down in my rocking chair.
I felt lighter and my heart beat with a new sense of grace, embracing both the joy and the challenge that would follow as I became friends with Anxiety. It won’t be about banishing Anxiety from my life but rather befriending it – dancing into a newfound sense of serenity and wholeness that I can carry with me in my pouch of all possibilities.
May you find comfort in the knowing that you too can befriend your Good Enemies as you walk down happy trails, taking care of yourself first, as you take care of others, along the way.
!! YIPPEEEEEE….IT’S HERE – All the information about WRITE WITH THE WHISPERS OF THE WIND. Join me in AZ for a weekend of sacred art and shamanic writing.
Remember, space is limited to the first ten to register and there is a special early bird treat for those who jump in now. Take a chance on you and join your writing spirit in the Cave Creek, AZ May 31-Jun 2, 2024.
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Please enjoy my Free PDF – 6 Ways Your Life Can Change When You Adopt an Optimistic Attitude
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Vicki Dobbs is a bold and adventurous warrior walking a path of heart to manifest spirituality in everyday lives. She opens existential gateways for individuals to face their challenges and embrace these tests as the great teachers that they are.
Her goal is to see everyone walk in beauty and balance every day of their lives empowered by the voice of their own authentic truth.
Through Wisdom Evolution and Sacred Wisdom Workshops, Vicki creates opportunities for others to make deep personal changes through experiential classes, ceremony, sacred art and story. She endeavors to inspire others to create their lives intentionally. Vicki is an Inspirator of everyday awareness, an Instigator of spontaneous stories and a Connoisseur of Creativity. Gratitude and grace sprinkled with humility and humor are the medicine she brings to the world.
As an Elder, Teacher and Entrepreneur, Spiritual Coach, Ordained Minister and Crafter of Sacred Art and Tools, Vicki perceives life’s journey as an ever-upward spiraling ascension of the human spirit leading her to wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.
Her experience includes being trained in the Harner Method of Shamanic Counseling and the Pachakuti Mesa Tradition of Cross Cultural Shamanism. She is a Graduate Teacher and Mentor with the Lynn Andrews Center For Sacred Arts and Training and has been the Administrator and Writers Guide for Writing Spirit, the School.
Vicki is also an Artist of the Spirit Certified Spiritual and Energetic Life Coach, a Graduate Mentor in the AoS program and a founding member of HeatherAsh Amara’s Warrior Goddess Leadership Team and Facilitator of the Warrior Heart Practice.
Connect with Vicki here on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vickildobbsauthor
